Week 1 pt 4 Feb 10, 2006

<< back to Feb 10 before the party

Feb 10: Rajesh and Srividya's engagement party

This was something I could never have hoped for and just came about because I chatted to the man who sat beside me on the plane. After he spent most of his first night home getting me to my destination, he then invited me to his engagement where I was the only outsider amongst over 200 people. An absolutely wonderful evening and everyone was so welcoming.

This section is quite long and is basically the text of an email I sent to my wife.

First I had to get a taxi because the gate guard said it was too far for an auto. The taxi ride through the Chennai evening traffic was quite something. You go down streets like old guilds, one just full of timber merchants, one full of furniture shops and one even with "Beef shops" with cows tied up outside, which surprised me in a very Hindu city. The hotel was a big modern one and the taxi driver gave me his mobile number and said to call when I was ready.

Inside there were about 250 people. And this was just the engagement. For the wedding on August 28th they are expecting at least 2,000 and have booked a hall that can hold 5,000. (We've got an open invitation if we can make it!) The first part was a long session between a priest and the two fathers of the couple, cross legged on the floor at the front. There were lots lamps and much throwing of rice and incense. The priest tied turbans around each father's head. Later they had to exchange garlands three or four times, which dislodged one turban to great shouts of laughter.

Then the priest stood up and showed a hand written document he had just drawn up, which my neighbour said was the basic marriage contract. Then a great line of women filed in carrying gifts, including complete stalks of bananas. These were serious saris, all silk, most brocaded in gold. Then the future bride came in, in a stunning sari wearing more gold than I would think a person could carry. She stood for some time whilst photos and videos were taken (there was a drummer and oboe player blasting away at full volume all this time) and then she came up to the front. Various things were said and then the priest walked round the whole hall carrying the bridal jewellery gifts on a tray for us all too touch (even more gold, a lot more gold). Then she was sent off and the whole ceremony seemed to stop. The priest shouted out something towards the leaving bride-to-be and everyone laughed. My neighbour told me that she was leaving to put on the "Special" sari which her future parents in law had given her for the ceremony. The priest had shouted "You've only got 10 minutes to change because then I'm off!"

When she came back, it was in a sari of the most extraordinary quality, shot through in patterns of brown and gold and now wearing the extra jewellery. Quite breath taking. Then the couple went through a ceremony of exchanging rings and that was the main part over. They took some photos and when I took a few, the priest pulled me to the front and made me stand next to Rajev and Srividya for the first group photo! That will be one for the album if I ever get a copy. Then group photos were taken, lots of them, as well as panning videos. They acted just like we did when my Dad pointed a cine camera at us. They went from wild activity to statue like rigidity whilst the camera slowly passed, and jumped to life again as soon as the light went off.

Then the bride-to-be sat on a large chair and every one of the women came to her and touched coloured powders to her chin, cheeks and forehead. In return she gave each a gift of I think a banana and flowers. This took a long time and she looked exhausted half way through. Then we all went for dinner, production line style. They were giving everyone a full banana leaf thali (many curries, two rices, papadums, dosas, sweet doughnuts, sweet rice and ice cream) but there was only sitting space for 36. so we went through in batches. Indians don't linger over meals, so it really didn't take long and the food was good. They brought me knife, fork and spoon, but I managed most with my fingers apart from the wet curries, where I admitted defeat and shovelled. Then it was over and I wished Raj well. He is back to the Isle of Man in a week so I probably won't see him again before he goes.

Down stairs I got the reception to ring my taxi driver, thinking I might have time for a quick beer in the bar before he came, but he was parked right out side, with the meter still running! I had been there for three hours. He looked very happy. But things still were good. When we got back, the price was a whisker below 500 Rupees. I planned to let him keep the change, but he said "No, its only 400". Bargaining usually works the other way round. I have his number and will use him again.

	Taking pictures was difficult because of the lighting. I had to rely mainly on the video lights being on as a flash wouldn't work at a distance. Here Rajev's father (on the right) and his future father-in-law are getting a good talking to by the priest. The whole ceremony involves the fathers for far longer than anyone else.
	The drummer was great and played with an oboe player for over two hours with no breaks. Very physical music, makes you sweat just to listen to it.
	The ladies bearing gifts. They built up a solid phalanx at the back of the hall, and after photographs, surged forward to the front where they were all piled to one side. Trays of coconuts, stalks of bananas and I don't know what else.
	Rajev and Srividya, newly engaged.
	Srividya being blessed by one of the ladies. Her hands were covered in henna patterns and all of her was covered in gold jewellery.
	Rajev's sister, Ramya. Gold is fine, but you really can't beat flowers.

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